Velcro baby sleep or Cry-it-out?

Sleep is crucial for your child's well-being, development, and health. For both infants and young children, security and closeness are key to settling down. How we, as parents, respond to crying and restlessness significantly impacts children's ability to self-regulate later in life.

My child cries when I put them down – is this spoiling?

Young children cannot comfort themselves because they have not yet developed the ability to manage their own emotions, for example, by self-soothing or diverting their attention. Therefore, they need help. They need adults to help regulate emotions such as fear, sadness, and anxiety. When a child cries, it is not a sign that they have been "spoiled," but a natural way for the child to signal a need for security and care. Children are different and have different needs, so some children may need more contact than others.

Research shows that children who receive sensitive responses to their crying and discomfort from adults develop a better ability to self-regulate, greater social competence, and fewer behavioral problems later in life.

Physical contact is one of the most effective ways to create calm. Holding, rocking, or speaking calmly to the child can reduce stress hormones and help the child settle down.

Read more about: Sleepbag Bed Bumper, which creates a safe sleeping environment in the child's bed.

Is Cry-it-out… out?

The controversial Cry-it-out method, where the child is left alone without comfort, is generally not recommended by experts. Although it may seem logical that the child learns to settle down on their own, experience and recent research show that it can actually have the opposite effect and be harmful to the child's emotional development.

When a child cries without comfort, stress levels increase, and the child may experience insecurity. The child learns to regulate emotions through caring adults, for example, through physical contact, comfort, and calm routines. Even short periods alone can create restlessness, from which some children find it difficult to settle down again.

But don't worry, that doesn't mean children can never learn to sleep on their own. Security, presence, and sensitive response are simply the best starting point for the child to eventually find calm on their own.

Also read: Overtired children - How to help your child find calm

Swaddle your infant

Swaddling has been used for hundreds of years and across the globe. Swaddling acts as an embrace, reminding the child of the secure feeling of being in the womb. This can reduce crying and help the child fall into longer and more peaceful sleep.

There are many good products that can ensure a good nap, including our own Sleepbag.Exclusive, which can be used from infancy up to about 3 years. It is designed with a swaddling effect, which gives the child both security and freedom of movement, while minimizing the risk of overheating or discomfort.

The car seat bag has two drawstrings that can be adjusted, allowing the weight effect to be adjusted - somewhat like a weighted blanket. The car seat bag consists of four layers, which both insulate against cold and regulate the child's body temperature (Infants cannot regulate their body temperature until they are 9 months old).

Read more here: Sleepbag.Exclusive Car Seat Bag

Tips for swaddling

• Be aware of the child's temperature; overheating is not healthy for the child.
• Make sure not to swaddle too tightly - it should give the feeling of being embraced while the child can still move.
• Make sure hands and face are not covered.

Bedtime and sleep routines

In addition to physical contact and swaddling, fixed bedtime rituals help the child understand when it's time to sleep, and routines also provide security and predictability. Routines can include:

• Changing into pajamas and a diaper
• Calming song or lullaby
• Gentle talking and presence
• Dimming lights and noise

It is important to read the child's signals. Some children need more support to settle down, while others can find calm on their own when the surroundings are safe.

Also read: Good sleep routines - even on holiday

Creating secure sleep is about balance

All children are different, and as a parent, the most important thing is to learn what works for your child. Secure sleep is about meeting the child, understanding their needs, and creating an environment where they can relax.

Generally, physical contact, sensitive response, and secure bedtime rituals are a good place to start – for both infants and young children.

Sources

• Sovende Børn (2020). Young children cannot comfort themselves.
• Netsundhedsplejersken (2024). Helen Lyng Hansen: Swaddling the small child.
• Videnskab.dk (2024). Amy Brown & Lyndsey Hookway: Researchers warn against controversial sleep training.
• Sundhedsstyrelsen (2021). Healthy children